À la recherche du temps perdu

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Month: January, 2015

More On Human Bondage

After watching (probably chosen unconsciously) “Her” and “Before Midnight” in the space of two days, I have come to the same conclusions regarding human bondage —

Blame nobody for the failed relationships;
Be grateful to the other person for everything both of you experienced, good and bad alike;
Ask for forgiveness for the pains you ever caused anybody including yourself;
Be genuinely sincere in wishing the other person every happiness even if without you;
Be free of the doomed notion of a soulmate without whom you can never be complete; and
Be perfectly happy by yourself without trying too hard to seek that theoretical person who may not even exist.

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On Human Bondage

Has it ever occurred to you that a person can easily disappear from your life just by the simple act of quitting facebook, however important this person might have been.

Shaken

This morning I was woken up – shaken, more appropriately – by an earthquake that lasted a few seconds. Shortly after that I fell back to sleep again. Was I being too insensitive? But no – now that I am sober and can think of it properly – I was more shaken by the dream I was in that moment the earthquake hit than the earthquake itself. And it is only now, after so many years, that I can frankly acknowledge that this thing – matter – whatever – has been haunting me all along. All the denials I have been employing now appear to be plain defence mechanisms I have been employing to save myself from pain and embarrassment – albeit useless and pathetic. In my dream the two young couples join hands amidst loving crowds, literally bathed in their youthful glory. Seen from the perspective I was somewhere on the ground near the altar, but the approaching beauties did not seem to notice my presence. What would their reaction be if they saw me? I have never understood what happened, what I did that made them decide to stay away from me. I guess I shall never know. By now I have learnt the arts of human relationship and know that not everyone is meant to like you, to be your friend. In the same way you are not meant to like everyone you meet, and be friends with just anyone. And that is nobody’s fault. It is just the way it is. And (hopefully) this shall be the last time I think of these two persons with regret.

愛人

看著你來 隨背影掩蓋 我沒法不愛
我是行李 你是遊客
笑着來 要笑着離開
背後有床 不需有愛
睡醒不怕另有將來
如早知道夏季不再來
斜陽垂下了 薔薇仍是會開
只怪我一心愛人
忘掉隨手撫摸得到的傷痕
壞了千萬盞燈 燒光每段眼神
只發現和你衣不稱身
對不起 我不過為愛人
從未曾天真得相信永生
曾共你一起 即使毫無好處
起碼能回味那邊臉被吻

消失

他是一個沒有絲毫存在感的人;跟他在一起她覺得連自己的存在感也逐點消失了。分開了以後,原本存在感已不強的他,更是像從空氣中消失了一樣,不留一絲氣味的,消聲匿跡了。像是從來沒有存在過似地。