À la recherche du temps perdu

news from nowhere

Month: April, 2005

L’Arc-en-Ciel 的”Anemone”,只有內心悲傷的人才聽得到內裡的味道

Anemone-血海棠
相傳維納斯的愛人阿當肋斯不幸被野獸所傷;吸取了他的血的泥土,長出一朵朵血紅色的花

這有關愛神和她的凡人愛人的故事,自古以來都是畫家喜愛的題材
可惜,那紅色的暴力和悲傷,Titian 也好,Rubens 也好;都沒一位大師真的描繪到

反而,幾年前北野武的Dolls (港譯:偶斷絲連),郤有一點點那感覺

有時真的對於日本人對西方文化的認知嘖嘖稱奇… 尤其是民間傳說方面… (他們的Gothic/Lolita 比人家真的還講究…)

Oh My God… There are some problems with my SD card… lost some files within too… Not sure if Sandisk really will send me a new one… I used it for just a month  

Woke up and found the weather extremely fine… should have gone travelling… But still spending the day reading over A Midsummer Night’s Dream was not bad. Remembered that I have the VCD of the film adaptation starring cute Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal)  and got it out. The setting is 19th century Italy – I must tour this wonderful country before Midsummer!

Remember something I read when I did Warren’s essay – forget which book it is from, Patterson or Laroque – about the confusion of May Day and Midsummer in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Suddenly aware that May Day is coming – what will happen in London? Nothing special I guess… Though the library at Warburg (conforming to the Renaissance which is its specialty) is going to close for a few days, which means I cannot finish the research before next Monday… (Anyway Jerry is not going to be in campus during red dates  I hope his schedule will not hinder my travel plans – if only it had been Warren!)

One more week, and I’ll be in Northern Ireland with Doctor Donald and Mrs Hilda Gaston  

(Is it possible to pay a visit to the Lake District – Beatrix Potter and William Wordsworth – during May?)

The network these days always congest; whenever I want to do something, be it to listen to 903 recording, to research for dissertation, or to update my xanga, it becomes 56k  

Aubig is back from Japan, and she really got me the CD!!! LOVE for NANA Special Edition (Gold version)!!! Together with a poster!!! I love you roommate  I hope I will be able to watch the film too…

Watched “Downfall” last night – I think it even better than “Saving Private Ryan”! As I understand it, “Downfall” means literally the falling of the curtain during the finale of a play. The hero remains in the centre of the stage till the very last minute. Of course, Hitler was that hero to every German. His way was the truth, the future. There could be no future without Social Nationalism. If not for such faith, would the mother have killed her six children? It is only history that judges past events. In the film, when the Russians started bombing Berlin, and the German forces were falling apart; the followers begged their leader not to abandon them. Hitler said, “And tomorrow, everyone will curse me.”

At the end of the film, the real profiles of the characters were shown. Among that lot, only one is still living. Very soon, all the witness to the War would vanish; and that part of human history will become ever more remote to us… This is also why, accounts of historical events should not be univocal and much less, altered; as that is the biggest deception a human being can ever attempt, with the gravest consequences.

Back to hall quite late, and Zaleha told me a distressing thing. I think I know what that was about but I said nothing. How can a person be so mean? If all that education cannot make you a more decent person, what a waste that is of the government resources that support your education. (Or may be the money comes from *somewhere* else? Well then…) 

****

Breakfast.
Warburg Institute Photographic Collection.
British Museum – Columbus: Renaissance Collector; Mountains and Water: Chinese Painting.
Covent Garden.
Dinner – very full now. And sleepy.

When I finished making dinner and returned to my room, I found both Vivian and 阿楠 left me messges  Always nice to catch up with friends. 

I felt very uncomfortable after Vivian told me about that thing. I don’t know what to make of it. I want to borrow Andy Lau’s line in 無間道:我想做好人…

Dr Sabine is transferred to History Department  Vivian said may be Professor Tambling is behind this… I doubt though… I think it is more about the staff problem of History Department and the stupid new policy of the Arts Faculty… But then, I do believe that Tambling and Sabine really 狗咬狗骨(though they both do Shakespeare… )  

Should I go to Salisbury and Stonehenge tomorrow?
Or… can I get up?

「我要把這記憶留起」

一個月後,終於再有時間寫
寫著,忽然想起一段year 1 時的風波
有誰還記得當年紅極一時的
港大學生會後選內閣和風閣事件?

****

用了一整天執相
温習了日文
回了石山老師電郵
練習了倉頡
和朋友再閒聊
重新拿起紙筆
總算過回一個像樣點的生活

****

突然發現
當日在Brussels 時路經的Musees royaux des Beaus-Arts
原來藏有Brughel 的Battle of Carnival and Lent
飲恨…

不過
有早知,無乞兒

****

做夢
去夜街被插頸
嚇個半死
有什麼含意?

****

Your Inner European is French!
Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything – at least, *you* think so.

交了essays,在這兒的時間又完結了三分一

接下來的三分一,就全由我來操控。
有很多要做的事,很多要去的地方
盡管放馬過來,正期待著呢

想起王貽興寫的903 廣播劇播了一段日子了,便由第一集開始聽起
從今開始,我也要為自己做點事

抬頭發現,宿舍外的樹上,不知何時,竟長滿了像櫻般的花
只是,這櫻不是粉紅的,而是白的
想起某十年前的漫畫,東京巴比倫
如果說櫻花的紅色當真由屍體而來,那我寧願看這奇怪的白櫻了

足足一星期沒更新,現在來補回

一切,就由比利時開始-


16 April 2005 Saturday
London*Brussels*Luxembourg

為了趕上第一班的Eurostar,清晨四時便起床了;以為己經很早,誰知倫敦早上五時的巴士也半滿的
結果是住在zone 3 的阿欣最早到,住最近的Ann 反而就睡過頭遲到
在火車上趁未離開國境前打了個電話給歐陽堂友,竟然在打羽毛球
去到Brussels,花了一陣子才買妥車票到達市中心
下了一整天的雨,冷得要死;和Jessica 二人蓋著帽子,瞎驢般橫衝直撞
去了Grand Place,撒尿小孩像
四處都是巧克力店,令人唾涎欲滴
乘電車到Horta Museum,下車後得金髪俊男指路
之後四出尋訪Horta 的建築,全都一副日久失修的模樣,十個失望
傍晚起行到Luxembourg,青年旅舍喜出望外地漂亮
太肚餓,出外找吃的,被美麗夜景囁住
上山下山,終於找到嘉年華會的東西,吃的很滿足
有床頭燈的房間,十級周到;可是寫不到十句字便昏睡了


17 April 2005 Sunday
Luxembourg*Brussels

起來,天氣很好;吃罷早餐外出繞山走
藍色屋頂黃外牆滿佈山頭,間中山丘上傳來陣陣教堂鐘聲;夢的國度,可以考慮退休後搬來長住
剛巧遇著彌撒禮成,教堂門外有refreshment;世上果然有免費午餐這回事,感謝天主
在廣場上給了賣藝的伯伯身上的零錢,換來一個善意的微笑
回到前晚的嘉年華會,終於一嘗糖蘋果,想起小時愛吃的冰糖葫蘆
午後的陽光異常温暖,大伙躺在廣場的雕像下曬太陽,也理不了途人目光
走著,赫然發現相機上多了一道很深的傷痕,心痛了一陣子
細小的城市都給走得七七八八了,便起行回Brussels;再會了Luxembourg
晚上的Grand Place,燈火燎亮
吃了Belgian waffle,甜得要死;不好甜點的我,還算是女生嗎?


18 April 2005 Monday
Brugge*Ghent*Brussels

又下雨了
試過三間青年旅舍的早餐,還是Amsterdam 的最好(服務態度則最差)
一張Go Pass 五人用,省下很多;去旅行果然要是趁廿六歲前大伙兒去
活色生香的古城,四處都是萬褔聖母
歐洲,原來也有姑婆屋的
走進一所教堂,發現有一座Michelangelo 的Mother and Child 雕像;事前工夫做得不夠
餓了,在檔子買frites 吃;在Flanders 一帶都沒什麼特別吃的:除了frites ,還是frites
去到相傳藏有基督聖血的教堂,結果還是沒有進去
一邊逛,一邊哼著中學時的聖詩,內心無比平靜
上火車再下一城,來到Ghent,出孚意料地宏衛;全都被旅遊書騙了
趕上在教堂關門前一暏Jan van Eyck Mystic Lamb 的風采;震憾程度比在教科書上看大千倍
另外再見證了一樣東西:歐洲的鄉下人,水準和大陸人還差不多
在其中一個chapel 有一個伯伯在彈lyre,悠揚曲聲在整座教堂迴盪;可是CD 售二十歐羅,太貴沒有買
遇上一位名叫Annie de Bruyne (Annie the Brown) 的熱心太太,帶著我們四處走,說我們在Ghent 起碼要花兩星期;告訴她我們在Belgium 只留四(三)天,嚇她個半死;香港人的旅遊方式,歐洲人大概難以理解吧
坐在運河邊的露天咖啡室喝熱巧克力:夕陽無限好
回Brussels ,誓要吃到馳名Belgian mussels;前排球隊員欣走在前,來回跑上跑落比利時石板街荷李活道氣也沒喘過
皇天不負有心人,最終吃到了:侍應哥哥好介紹,Mussels in white wine, Mussels in garlic and cream, Waterzooi (Annie’s recommendation), 還有一個像是fish stew 的東西;附送的麪包和醬汁也美味非常!Cheery beer 很fruity,一句:喜歡!在倫敦也未有如此滿足過-埋單位位十七歐羅,豪給你
晚上大談和父母兄弟姐妹關係兒女私情直至深宵,累死人了


19 April 2005 Tuesday
Antwerp*Brussels*London

果然是睡不夠,都怪在前晚捉著我們談話的Jackson 頭上
Antwerp 的Central Station 十級浮誇,謀殺了不少菲林;不愧是Renaissance  時期humanists 集中地
Tourist Information 非常幫得上忙;送我們印刷精美的免費地圖,當我說想去Plantin-Moretus Museum 時,還一聲”I like you” 很熱烈的推介
同樣是畫家,Rubenshuis 郤比Rembranthuis 堂皇十倍,看來是Rubens 比較懂巴結權貴呢
Plantin-Moretus Musuem ,走了足足二個小時多;找不到essay 的靈感,感嘆倒是良多;出版,沒什麼人會視之為重大的專業,人類的文化郤缺它不可
趕到Koninklijk Musuem voor Schone Kunsten,怱怱用一小時多走完,Rubens 的The Adoration of the Magi 都沒能細看(驚覺Memling 的復修工程竟是展覽之一);便再亡命趕回火車站,結果還是一秒之差,趕不上原定計劃的班車
回到Brussels,開始採購巧克力之旅;太貴的買不起,平宜的又不甘心;最終去了一間叫Leonidas,排了很久的隊;結果是一位醒目俊男經理招待我們(其實是欣,兩次也是她,我懷疑她有吸引俊男的神奇力量);頓時戾氣全消,還給俊男經理照一個
下一站,倫敦。比利時,有緣再會。


20 April 2005 Wednesday
趕essay。
旅行的疲勞還未復完,又要用腦,要命。


21 April 2005 Thursday
同上。
收到石山老師的電郵,得知他已辭退了日本語文化館的工作。
那豈不是不能再跟他上課了?
私は先生以外の人が要らないわ… (日本語の勉強のことだけね)

另外Eunice 說七月有兩星期長假,可以來找Joyce 和我
是開心的;只是想不到購物狂的她竟儲得成錢吧了,哈哈…
唔,或許可以一起去法國呢
不知Jean 會不會一塊來呢?
那年多事的Interhall Drama 後,已又再過了兩次Interhall 了
時間過的真快,我好像總是落後了


22 April 2005 Friday
起動到British Library 工作。效率上升120%。
五時閉館,離去時望見Orlando Bloom 般的美男子;學者就是要這種的才像樣嘛。


23 April 2005 Saturday
進度比預期中快,期待解脫一天

看王貽興的個人綱頁,羡慕他過著的生活。
即使是每天四處奔波,才睡兩三小時又要工作;但比起為他人營營役役,始終是為自己喜歡的事,才辛苦得快樂。
但是,王貽興可以這樣,是因為他是王貽興;萬中無一的,就是天之驕子的意思吧。


24 April 2005 Sunday
有空閒(奇蹟,或會有報應),去電歐陽堂友
得知她週二將飛日本,托她替我找LOVE for NANA 初回版;誰知她連NANA 電影化也知道,頓時覺得啊同房潮咗

吃最後一次的罐頭湯pasta;吃了一星期一樣的東西,明天冰箱清洗後可買點像樣點的食物了

做完了,不想再碰和essay 有關的東西了。
做得不好也算了,我有更重大的事情等著我。

我不是王貽興,但也不代表不能做點我能力範圍所及的

****

去Sainsbury 入了點貨,做了很美味的蘑菇意粉(咦?又是pasta?)。原本和Zaleha 一起吃的,但她中途有時離去了,希望不是什麼大事吧。之後她答應我明天的晚飯她來做,太好了呢。

打到一半,Simon 來電,半死狀態。問他怎麼了,說明天交essay,想請我proof read,果然是無事不登三寶殿;不過也立即答應了,難得在這邊的朋友,無計啦。不過他要請我吃飯喎。

Emily 剛MSN 來問我六月去不去Milan -求之不得啊!

其實等著我去處理的事有很多;不過不理了,今晚我要好好休息!



Belgium*Luxembourg 16-19 April 2005
To be continued

I ended up messing up my essay instead of finishing it up last night  I was so pissed off that I could not deal with it anymore, so I went to sleep, which turned out to be a very bad one  I seldom deviate from my own schedule, and this certainly stressed me out…


Anyway I decided to put the essay aside and go along with my schedule. And so I forced myself up this morning at 8am and went to the British Library. Met Olivia there. I guess our class will meet quite often (perhaps even more than during school terms…) during summer when we are working for our dissertations. But I was not sure what I was looking for there, so I left earlier than intended and headed towards Leicester Square for “2046”.


In the dark theatre house some inspiration suddenly struck me – nothing academic though. Perhaps I really am not made for the academia.


I wonder if it is about my incompatibility, or my imcompetence, or simply my cowardice? When I was sitting in the BL this morning, pondering over the pile of early printed books, I suddenly realized I was actually doing something that had long been my dream – working in the most priestigious libraries of the world. But then now that the dream is come true, I feel somehow that this may not be what I really want…


****


2046。


回憶,都是潮濕的



(說什麼來自五十年不變,六十年代暴動背境,片尾加插歷年本港要聞;說到底還不是一齣愛情電影…)



多愁善感的人
大概不該看那麼多傷情電影文學…



但是想來這電影又好像是為我而放一般-今天在場會聽國語廣東話和日語的香港人,大概只有我一人吧… (講開又講,那英文字幕譯得真的不太好… 還要搞錯了鞏利和王菲…)

Your Seduction Style: The Dandy
You’re a non-traditionalist, not limited by gender roles or expectations. Your sexuality is more fluid than that – and you defy labels or categories. It’s hard to pin you down, and that’s what’s fascinating about you. You have the psychology of both a male and a female, and you can relate to anyone.

¸£¤º¯B²{¤ýº¸¼wªº¼Ò¼Ë…

****

Have not updated my xanga for some days… but then all I can say is I have been working on Warren’s essays, and that the floor of my room is scattered with books and articles (unconsciously adopted Warren’s method of organization)…  

My essay is a mess now! Can I sort it out tonight? But I must…  

A bit distracted by something… must not allow that to happen again.

And so part of my history is lost because I do not have the time to do the recording… but then, who would care except myself?

喂邊個自認match 到右邊個profile 嘅,唔該自動獻身啦喎

Your dating personality profile:

Stylish – You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn’t want to be seen with someone who doesn’t care about his appearance.
Liberal – Politics matters to you, and you aren’t afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Big-Hearted – You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Your date match profile:

Shy – You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw him out of his shell and get to know what he is all about.
Intellectual – You seek out intelligence. Idle chit-chat is not what you are after. You prefer your date who can stimulate your mind.
Practical – You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Your Top Ten Traits

1. Stylish
2. Liberal
3. Big-Hearted
4. Adventurous
5. Intellectual
6. Athletic
7. Sensual
8. Practical
9. Wealthy/Ambitious
10. Shy
Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Shy
2. Intellectual
3. Practical
4. Adventurous
5. Stylish
6. Big-Hearted
7. Funny
8. Athletic
9. Wealthy/Ambitious
10. Conservative

Take the Online Dating Personality Quiz at Dating Diversions

1.全名:李挽靈

2.花名(別名) :咩咩,瑪莉

3.鞋號: UK 4-5

4.高度: 我會prefer 用「嬌小玲瓏」囉

5.頭髮顏色:黑(試過幾百種顏色後反璞歸真,但不排除會重出江湖)

6.兄弟姊妹:姊妹仨

7.喜歡洗澡時唱歌:中學有一期有,入大學後响何東演變成同人吹水

8.喜歡唱歌: 不會自暴其短

9.生日: 19821209

10.星座:人馬

11.愛用左手或右手:都可

12.愛鞋子或者是拖鞋:拖鞋

13.愛可口可樂或者百事可樂:奶茶

14.在一段愛情關係中想要什麼:愛情

15.有沒有試過越軌:什麼為之越軌先

16.有沒有結婚:吓?

17.現在在聽的歌:無,不過腦內正浮現My Fair Lady The Rain in Spain

18.喜愛的香水:GAP simply white

19.喜愛的電影:好多喎我會蒲百老滙電影中心同去電影節啦

20.喜愛的數字:7, 12

21.喜歡的樸克牌遊戲:接龍?

22.喜愛的電台:903 絶情谷

23.喜愛的運動:何東壘球

24.喜愛的地方:日本、英國、歐洲、土爾其香港和何東

25.喜愛的食物:Pasta

26.喜愛的電視節目:Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

27.喜愛的卡通:世界名著劇場、宮騎峻系列、(有冇人記得做EVA,他和她的事情,少女革命個工作室個名?)

28.喜歡的個性:豁達的

29.喜愛的顏色:depends

30計劃過生小孩:唔

31.想有幾個小孩:同上

32.急不及待要說的話:快啲做嘢啦

33.想過結婚:冇特別去諗喎

34.想過未婚生子:同上

35.有一個男友或女友:宜家?

36.有沒有暗戀別人:同上

37.什麼傷你最深:physically mentally

38.喜歡音樂或電視:音樂

39.喜歡男生或女生:人類

40.喜歡綠色或藍色:都可

41.喜歡粉紅或紫色:粉紅多少少

42.喜歡夏天或冬天:冬天

43.喜歡晚上或白天:depends

44.喜歡逛街和到處留連:不喜歡

45.喜歡好笑的東西:什麼為之好笑先

46.你聽到這時會知道我在:?

47.你去哪一間學校:SHCS, SHCC, HKU, QMUL

48.享受自己平時做的事:大部分

49.最令你興奮的事:實踐自己

50.他們是誰:?

51.最笨的人:… 好似係我

52最友善的朋友:總之全部都友善過我

53.最好笑的朋友:暫時諗到係Vivian

54.最高的朋友:應該係Simon

55.一個朋友可以對你做出的最差的事:唔想諗呢啲嘢

56.有了另一半之後還跟別人調情是對的嗎:不對

57.最後一次因為什麼事而哭了出來:唔知,或者抑壓過久

58.最不明白男生或女生之處:?

59.現在最想做的事:正正經經做essay

60.你覺得人生中不能缺少的東西:生存嘅意義

61.愛情或者短暫的激情:唔

62.銀色或者金色:銀

63.鑽石或者珍珠:珍珠

64.日出或者夕陽:夕陽

65.有沒有去過SKINNY-DIPPING:?

66.會跟熊熊或者其他的娃娃睡:Jacky 送嘅豬公仔

67.身體有沒有穿洞:左右耳各一,不排除會增加

68.喜歡你身體那部位:手

69.討厭全身嗎:唔會嘅

70.現在穿什麼顏色的內褲:check 下先

71.現在又在聽什麼歌:另一隻My Fair Lady 嘅歌

72.家裡電話的最後4個數字:3452

73.渡蜜月會想去哪:唔南美?

74.最想跟誰一輩子在一起:唔

75.第一樣對另一性別的人留意的東西:唔衣着啩

76.最能令你開心的事和物:藝術

77.下一次會買的CD:未知道

78.有沒有戴眼鏡或者是隱形眼鏡:都有

79.別人給你最好的意見或提意:相信自己

80.邊個成日同你講野:好似冇喎

81.比較喜歡笑片或是恐怖片:拍得好果個

82.比較喜歡見到真人或是在電話上溝通:真人

83.比較喜歡抱抱或是親親:唔

84.哪一首歌最像你:唔

85.如果你明天死既話, 你會把所有東西給誰:唔

86.你有沒有敵人:唔自己(原本想話某同屋主)

87.最後抱你的人:某同學

88.你會不會選擇做一個有錢和出名的人:要犧牲乜先

89.現在阿爾巴尼亞幾點鐘:吓?

90.你這裡現在幾點:23:21

91.有沒有真的遇過聖誕老公公:冇遇過真的

92.一樣你覺得漂亮的東西:天使

93.最後一次跟心儀的人講話:去年暑假

94.有沒有養寵物:唔想殺生

95.最後一個跟妳跳舞的人:唔記得

96.最後一次感到壓力的時候:今日

97.你是不是醉酒漢:不是

98.誰把這寄給你:vansie’s xanga

99.你覺得這個人怎樣:好令人愉快嘅人

100.你想不想別人把這傳回給你:當然