A series of unfortunate events.

The first time in my entire life (22 years only though…) I ever dialled 999 (and twice within a night too)…

Never felt so near death.

All the happenings before this evening: my probably last seminar in my life at British Library this morning, the astounding manuscripts I came across, the (un)fortunate meeting in the face with Jerry while rushing to the school office to hand in my proposal… everything was undermined by all the horrors of tonight.

It all started off like this –

After all the bustling of the day, I was back at hall and began preparing for dinner. Then I heard the sound of smashed glass outside (it had been noisy for a while already, but it was such a common thing that no one took it seriously) and looked out from the window, and to my horror I saw a white car stopping directly under our flat, its back and rear windows smashed into pieces. A black man came out of the car and hurried off calling the police (very likely) with his cell phone. After the man was out of sight, another white car with several adolescents inside squealed forward and stopped beside the black man’s car, one of them came out and grabbed a branch from the back seat through the back window frame, then a hammer from the driver’s seat (they threw a hammer at the driver???), got back into the car and disappeared. Some time later the black man returned with the police who did some inspection to the car. Then everybody went, leaving the car there. The area returned to silence (a foreboding one though, I did not realize).

At night, while I was washing my dishes in the kitchen I heard some noise outside again. Unwittingly I looked through the windows directly and, to my alarm and horror unsurpassed, the gang was back again and pouring something brownish in colour onto the abandoned car. The moment I realized what it might mean they spotted me and walked away. I immediately closed all the kitchen windows and drew the curtain, then went over to Zaleha’s room. Zaleha and I peeped through the curtains and saw the gang wandering about the car. We decided we should tell the stewards first, and I went out to seek my flatmates, but only Linlin was there. I called the steward but no one answered my call. Then I called the College Security, who said there was nothing they could do and they would call our stewards (who very likely would refer us to somewhere else) and that we should call 999 ourselves (Darn it, such helpful college staff). Apprehensively I called 999 who said I was giving too little information and hang me up (What the??? We might die if they really set fire to the car!!!). Then Zaleha cried to me that they finally DID set fire to the car, so I called 999 again. This time they agreed to send the fire engine ONLY. The police did not even bother to come. Luckily the car did not explode as in those Hollywood action movies or we are long dead already. Even more ridiculous, the gang was hovering about and acting innocent while the firemen were putting off the fire. Shit. When the firemen were done finally, everyone went home to bed. Shit.

After a uncomfortable shower, the stewards called back and asked us to meet them at the kitchen. Yusuke also came along (how nice of him, I should have talked to him more). Still the thing they could suggest was to call the police directly, and be prepared for such things. Somebody had thrown stones into Yusuke’s flat before too. Our lives are at stake but there is nothing we can do. Moving seems to be the only option which obviously no one would like to go for. Shit.

I know the college cannot do anything because the incident happened literally outside the college grounds. That means if they want to retaliate against us for being witness or reporting the case they can easily do so, like throwing things into our flat from outside. To make it worse, the law protects adolescents. To be honest, I really feel like a Jew living under Nazi invasion (some exaggeration of course) – constant fear for violence inflicted upon myself any moment. Never till this day has the idea that being a responsible and law-abiding resident cannot guarantee personal security ever come into my mind. I do not know if I dare to step out of the flat for the days to come.

There are two things I want – freedom from fear (which is a basic human right), and someone to turn to whenever there is a crisis…

昨天垂死掙扎的再scan 了兩本書；結果是就是滿腦子information 了，反過來idea 都被嚇跑了。

這個後後現代的時刻，可以說的，早就被說過了；你以為再怎樣deconstruct reconstruct 再在結尾加個Foucault，結果還是會有人說：這正是xxxx 在xxxx (書名) 中的argument 啊。而當你走去查看那本書時，便會發現你那自以為革新的意念，原來早在廿年前已被發展成一套具規模的理論了…

原本以為重整Carnival and Elizabethan theatre 的理念，誰知原來這概念早被「做爛」了…

明天便要交proposal 了… 怎麼辦？

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和Simon 去吃午飯。在大排擋吃了很喜歡的肉絲炒麵和楊枝甘露  期間他提到新project 從童話The Wizard of Oz 取靈感(為甚麼最近這麼多人對經典兒童文學重生興趣了？ ) 不過Simon 也贊同現在的建築應回歸文學去找意念－雖然他的project 聽上去比較像Disneyland 的Theme park…  加油啊，期待看你的presentation  

另外我說他潔癖，他都沒問我何以見得就直認不諱了；還很理所當然的樣子…  

Simon 想找原著的The Wizard of Oz 來參考，便去了Waterstone 的Children’s section－有很多的version：不同名稱，不同設計… 結果Simon 買的那本只售一鎊多  

之後陪他去買東西給他(新) 女朋友－結果買不到女朋友的耳環，倒是他自己就在Paul Smith Sale Shop 買了衣服  不過二十多鎊一件Tee 也真不錯  

然後返回Leicester Square 喝下午茶。提起太多理論太少意念的問題，似乎他也同病相憐。然後得知他現在的女朋友就是－ 真的恭喜了呢(這次該比上一次好吧… )  

要擔心別人，倒不如擔心一下自己  

哎… 明天… 該怎麼辦？　

Watched “Finding Neverland” with Jessica and Kuni this evening  

It was 1903, London (I guess). It tells the story of the man (played by Johnny Depp) who created Peter Pan, the familiar name for every household ever since.
A widow (played by Kate Winslet) with four boys, one was called Peter.
Peter could not overcome the trauma of his father’s death, and his boyhood was taken from him since then.
One day the playwright chanced to come upon the family, and a curious attachment on both sides was established.
He was especially sympathetic with Peter, who then to his anguish, discovered that their mother was leaving them just as their father did.
And then, Peter Pan was born.

It was… wonderful. Another beautiful story that moved my heartstrings.

And it strikes me that during that period (Victorian England) there was a surprising amount of children’s literature (if it is possible to define such a genre) in the English tongue which still survive as household classics –

Charles Dickens’ “Oliver Twist”, “David Copperfield”, etc;
Mark Twain’s “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer”;
Anna Sewell’s “Black Beauty”;
Robert Louis Stevenson’s “Treasure Island”;
Lewis Carroll’s “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” and “Through the Looking-glass”;
Oscar Wilde’s “The Happy Prince”, “The Nightingale and the Rose”, “The Selfish Giant”, etc;
Rudyard Kipling’s “The Jungle Book”;
Frances Hodgson Burnett’s “A Little Princess” and “The Secret Garden”;
JM Barrie’s “The Adventures of Peter Pan”;
L Frank Baum’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz”; and of course
Beatrix Potter’s “The Story of Peter Rabbit”  
(Just a fragment of a whole lot… sorry for my ignorance on the subject…)



Never lose the child within you.

曾幾何時，好像有聽過我是華麗吹捧者的話


有問題嗎？

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今天轉回夏令時間，少了一小時用…  

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又是閉門苦讀的一天…
快悶死了…

Productivity 下降50%…  

‘Dentelle’ dinner service by Sam Baron
www.wallpaper.com

下一站，法國 
每件item  8 euro  起，afford  到呀(比起那不是人坐的櫈 ) 

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我又回到去年衝Prof. Tambling 的essay 時那狀況(即是終日埋首看reference )…

不同的是，現在的我沒有去年的動力去推動我了…

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聽回舊的「森美小儀架勢堂」，不太喜歡「怨婦」這名詞。
「怨婦」就等於英文的”Spinster”，根本就是含有非常負面的意思。
這麼性別歧視的字，西方人早就不再用了；現在還出現在香港人的口中，還真令人失望…

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我想相信自已
然而我還想相信Vivian 去年跟我說的

以前
我會以入睡來忘記
現在
連睡夢也變得不能承受

星期四女人

對於事物易失去新鮮感，喜歡變化可接受新事物
感情傾向新鮮有變化感，如變換不同的約會地點
會令她們感到興奮不已

愛好自由喜歡冒險刺激，不會造作正是迷人之處
戀愛時完全憑感覺行事，討厭對愛情的承諾束縛

http://home.kimo.com.tw/ewormeworm/city/fate/01/daylife.htm

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在雜誌上見到這張櫈，很喜歡
再看看description，發現這張櫈最初是設計給丹麥皇儲的…
命名”Prince” chair，售價1,350 歐元  

是不是該想想怎樣嫁入皇室呢…

今天原本想看完Patternson 那本書，誰知連她也來談Derrida, Lacan, Althrusser…  結果當然就是看不完了…

和Jessica Leung 去看”Hostage” – 十級緊張! 作為一個忙裡偷閒的娛樂算是很不錯　

晚上在我的地方做飯，做了Salmon Risotto 和牛油粟米 一邊吃一邊看「我的Band 5 男友」- 差點沒把我們笑死… 是笑它的老土位…  韓式電影…

竟然發現那男主角有點像某人，側面又有點像某人，笑時又有點像某人 不知他們現況如何？

Good Friday…   復活節快樂呢 

唉… 堆着一大疊readings… 看來我也快升天了…

兩個字：亂和累。


輕輕的我走了
正如我輕輕的來

我揮一揮衣袖
不帶走一片雲彩


是的，今天到了康橋一趟
不過，太憑直覺走
浪費了時間體力之餘，又看不完想看的
唉…


晚上，又來停電
真的想盡快搬離這鬼地方

Last core course seminar! The course concluded with Graham’s Renaissance Cosmology – Galileo to Newton. During the break (a luxurious one, with Graham making us coffee and tea while Warren “the biscuit boy” went to fetch us ginger and raisin biscuits  ) Graham mentioned the old way of making gunpowder with cow’s urine, and Shalom raised a question which astounded all including the resouceful Graham – “How did they collect the urine?”  Then Warren came back and Graham sought aid from him, who laughed, saying “My curiosity never extended to that area (cow’s urine)” 

I have always wanted to take photo with classmates and staff, but never dared to initiate since it feels oddly trivial against all the scholastic going ons…  I shall miss this profound scholar of the Francis Bacon Project who fills his office with boar/pig motifs  And Evelyn who brought us to an entirely new horizon of visual culture  And David of the last semester, whom we are still looking upon for assistance  Oh now I think I really should initiate a photo taking session as I think no one else would ever think of it…

While leaving, heard that Jerry was so ill that he went to the hospital  Now I begin to feel sorry for him… 

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每次開始發夢時，就會有東西來粉碎它
也好，起碼可以在我作出越軌行動前阻止我

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中了遊園驚夢的毒


頺廢的美態

雖然我知道自已不會容許自已去頽廢
然而我又是那麼的被戲中的宫澤里恵迷著…
果然我還是擺脫不了男權社會建立的意識形態中理想女性形像  

不知為何白先勇先生會把遊園驚夢拿來和Virginia Woolf 的Mrs Dalloway 比  大概是指對女人那窒息的存在感的描繪吧…

忽然
想再看白先勇

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自已也覺得好厲害… 這篇日記全是用倉頡打的呢  (雖然用了整晚…)

You scored as The Beast. Your alter ego is The Beast! But that is only a name… you are kind hearted and sweet, people just misunderstand you. The Beast 81% Sleeping Beauty 75% Cruella De Ville 69% Cinderella 50% Pinocchio 50% Ariel 44% Goofy 38% Peter Pan 38% Snow White 38% Donald Duck 25% Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com

Hahahaha… so funny… anyone can tell me why? (Why? Because you ARE a beast!)