À la recherche du temps perdu

news from nowhere

Month: August, 2004

(Con’t)
星期日 –
預定了的延朝reunion – 豈料之前星期五晚沒睡好加上因為Tommy的生日派對晚了一點睡,結果就是睡過了頭 – 對不起!大家還刻意為我farewell的說…

在阿貓地攤坐了一個下午… 好久未試過這麼多人了,雖然還是做不到十二人同時在場,也總算是一天內齊集了何東延朝全員了!做了一樣一直希望做的事:替延朝每人拍一張照片。可惜阿貓地攤太暗而我又沒開閃光燈,結果就成了十個黑影(只有在莉碧嘉拍的林婉儀免役了)… 本來說什麼拿去英國「徵友」的,現在泡湯了對不起啦… 哈哈 下面那圖也太可怕了… Fi和Ivy完全消失在黑影中… 果然是農歷七月嗎…

之後我們心血來潮想到回何東看O’camp,便大伙起行去了。回去見到姝珊和阿細做「馬伕」,啞掉。實在不太認同這新system。在十一樓吃了sponsor的布丁 然後freshmen由campus回何添,我們便下去看 – 一行九人,大仙回魂 其實programme進行中我們也沒什麼可做的,便移往隔壁莉碧嘉。坐了一會,再過去何添傾了一兩句,便乘車返家。不知走前還有沒有機會回來何東了… Ho Tung Nite 是去不到了,庄友們請連我的份去吧。

給正在何東O’camp中的、未見過面的freshmen:請認真投入對待妳們面前的東西,或許三年過後妳們也會得到像這幅相片中的我們的友情,甚至更多更多!


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很忙很累於是待到現在才記一記這週末的事。

星期六 –
早上八時多就爭扎著起床(自由Hall返家起從未試過睡少過8小時)隨父親大人(白)走了中環一趟辦銀行的事,精神狀態比只睡了兩小時便去練早波還糟。回到家倒頭就睡,直至到約了Karrian的時間,又再爭扎著前往全銅鑼灣。

見到Karrian大家便不約而同地問了那個問題:我們多久沒見了?自F.5起有5年了… 聽到這個實在的數目大家都有點很不實在的感覺。除了身體老了好像沒有其他改變… 或許是有的,只是在老朋友之間那成長的差異被誠摯的感情掩蓋了吧。Karrian陪我買了一個背囊,之後在麻布茶房吃東西。在往麻布茶房途中在金百利踫到小學加中學同學Rebecca – 一身PUNK look比我當日還激!聽Karrian說原來她在HKU唸Bio-Chem – 怎麼這三年未在campus見過她?想起小三時她送了一個有她的肖像的海洋公園的鎖匙扣給我,大概她本人也不記得了吧,哈哈。在麻布茶房坐了很久談了很多,似要補償那5年的空白。如果說中小學的友情是誠摯的話,那麼大學的友情就是深厚的吧。各種友情都能享有是一種福份呢。

之後買了那條令我念念不忘的長褲!也顧不了沒錢了… 總之在英國一直穿著它就是了。

晚上回家吃飯,坐了一會便動身前往Tommy的”Birthday party” – 之前在ICQ上接到邀請時我打趣以Mrs Dalloway比喻Tommy,被Tommy反嘲我「拋書包」;我回以「你怎會不懂 – MPhil喎」,之後我倆的對話便環繞Comp.Lit.的teaching staff (彷彿我也是major Comp.Lit.一般),哈哈。Tommy是少數我能毫不保留地談文學的朋友… 為甚麼在大學也那麼少能和他談書本的人?真不明白。總之就是喜出望外地接到邀請,很爽快的就答應了,也管不了他的朋友我沒幾個認識。去到果真是沒幾個認識,Jessica早早撤退了,Vivian又四處和人玩,是有點悶了,好在還有Winnie(自year 1 Comp.Lit.Soc.O’camp已沒見過!)在招呼。一時半左右決定返家,走時Tommy緊緊地握手道別 – 無聲勝有聲;心思細密的文學人自會心有靈犀一點通。加油吧!別被Professor Tambling “cher” 死了

唉… 突然低落… 或許我內裡真的欠了點東西…

Why am I suddenly so happy? It is so foolish of me May be I am just not used to being so cared for. Thank you for asking.

A dull day reading Matthew Arnold’s “The Function of Criticism at the Present Time” and The Mayor of Casterbridge. And finished the 50 episodes of “Anne of Green Gables” this morning; kind of feeling lonely. Is it possible to collect all the other “World Classics Theatre”? Like “The Little Princess”, “Heidi”, “Little Women”… etc etc. Yes I am still a little girl delighting in these girly anime

And then I went to Causeway Bay with Aubig. Eyed some backpacks and a pair of trousers. In serious consideration. I cannot possibly spend unnecessary money now. And I MUST find some part-time job in London to fund my future expenditures. On one hand I find myself not yet well-prepared to pursue my future; yet on the other I cannot but feel ashamed that I should live upon my parents’ expenses just because I am uncertain. So at least I have to make myself useful in providing at least some part of my own expenses. I will make sure I am tough and strong enough for that. No more excuses from now on.

Searched some accommodation on the internet… waiting for responses. I hate uncertainty but it is something I need to get accustomed to.

A storm occured in our house tonight. Finally, I thought. Somebody ought to have done something earlier anyway. I sound like shaking off my responsibility on the matter; and yet what am I to do? My parents know I have always disapproved of the waywardness in the matter, and yet they bear it patiently, until the situation becomes bad. I have done my best to warn them, if I have no authority to deal with it directly. And I have been considerate enough not to remind my parents that what they consider as patience is actually injustice practiced against the other two who have behaved descreetly all along. What do they receive in return of their patience anyway? Certainly not gratitude. Had not her Christian God enlightened her? if not enlightened, at least informed her how to lead her life? Is it “follow but for form”? “What’s in a name?” You do not tell people that you are a Christian and become good in their eyes; you are good in people’s eyes because you are good. So Christianity is another brand-name that serves to boast her vanity, or conscience. I am being sceptical and I beg everyone’s pardon, especially those who feel offended by this, as I mean no attack on the Church really.

My money is flowing away from me. I must stop going out and do something constructive at home.

Begin reading Thomas Hardy’s The Mayor of Casterbridge. Not sure if I can finish it before I leave. And have a desire to re-read the 8 essays from the Modern Literary Criticism course. So far re-read Oscar Wilde’s “The Critic As Artist” and William Wordsworth’s “Preface to Lyrical Ballads”. Very much fascinated by Wilde’s aphorisms; and find Wordsworth a bit… his was a revolution anyway… and after him came many refined aesthetic theories. Looking forward to visiting Wordsworth’s Lake District again. And Peter Rabbit

Got a new NEC notebook for my studies. Thanks Dad. But I am not that elevated, because I am still puzzling with it. Sadly I cannot find the disc of my 手寫板 and I lost my Microsoft Office too. And then I cannot recall where my mouse is. So this is the consequence of moving a whole room of stuff from hall back to home. Damn. And I cannot get it online. God. Anyone helps…???

如Jessica所說,今晚是「Friendster之夜」。

原本天氣惡劣加上本來應承了來的人「放飛機」加上約人的人遲到還要是我到了中環她們還在銅鑼灣停留那種,已經完全無mood,幾乎打算回家的說。一個人呆站在中環,氣沖沖的send了一個SMS發洩,然後氣便已消了。之後Vivian她們來到,即時sense到今晚是玩認真的。原本真的沒什麼心情,但收到了回覆的SMS頓時精神起來 – 雖說是精神起來了,但或許如Jessica所說,今晚即使遇著怎樣的男生對我來說都是沒啥作用的吧。

所謂「Friendster之夜」是指:同行有一中學同學Iris;Jessica亦約了朋友;而Vivian又call了她的(Herb的)朋友來;另外Vivien途中加入;Jessica的朋友再call她的朋友;然後Becky突然出現;同時Iris又有朋友…

意外收獲也許是得到一個幫忙的offer吧… (雖然只是口頭承諾了…)

很豐富的一天。起床後便開始裝扮收拾準備回HKU。回到HKU照例視察那兒 – 沒一個人影。失望 到英文系取過兩封reference letters之後去學生會影印文件,齊備後買了信封填好地址,便出發往郵政局。寄出文件後返回HKU,去找Tammy。誰知應門的是Eric,說Tammy沒有回office過,啞掉。反之和Eric去了食tea(雖然我也喜歡Eric,但若是另一人便好了…)。談到英文系學科的調動,灰盡。如Eric所說,MA也只不過是Undergraduate的伸延。不過這麼熱衷於英國文學的人是買少見少了。

和Eric道別後我去了Times Square的British Tourist Authority處拿了一大疊的旅遊指南。在餘下的日子要好好研究呢。

晚飯和Jessica, 蛇, Aubig, Candy在尖沙咀吃了「五人怨婦Shabu Shabu」。聽到了很多驚人的事 之後約了第二晚去玩:Jessica會找她的朋友、Vivian亦要Tommy叫他的朋友來 老實說還真有點兒期待 明天要稍為當一下父親的乖女兒了

回家途中Jessica問我她是否比去年進步了?是啊… 倒是我這個所謂朋友好像一點進步也沒有…

回到家因為脫耳環引起一場以為丟掉耳環的小風波,幸好是虛驚一場。

最近因為處理唸書的事少了看書(還真矛盾),今晚得把Wuthering Heights給看完才成。希望明天父親早點下班回來吧。

Father coming back tonight… I think it is a couple of hours later. In the remaining days we three must go 飲茶 together… as the chance to do this in the near future is slender. What will it be? Soon the family will be scattered all over the world: my parents here in Hong Kong, I in London, Wan Lan in Los Angeles, Wan Hang in Eugene. Fortunately my parents are the liberal kind. I am not sure if I can be as forbearing as they are when I am myself a parent…

Suddenly have a feeling that I am very sensitive to any deliberate behaviours of others. And those little gestures do irritate me exceedingly. Especially those that intend nothing other than to draw attention. “Say it plainly, or else compose yourself!” I always want to scorn their obsessions and yet feel that I must forbear their weakness as I have my own problems too and I would like to be excused if I should become irritating myself. But why? For some people it is easy for me to grasp their meaning and not be offended – may be they are less aggressive. And for these people I am more than willing to reciprocate (though sometimes it does bring me to some difficult situations and misunderstandings…). And when I need to seek attention, I take extra good care to be pleasant and not offensive. I don’t know… I think I am changed, that’s all.