the importance of being earnest

by suu4leaf

They marvel at the frankness in my words. But I have not been totally honest. I have hidden the fact that what made me so miserable was the thought of some person. It makes me sad to think of some person, knowing that I can only keep this secret to myself, till the day I no longer think of this person, and this person shall never learn about any of it. Because I know all too well, that nothing is going to change even if I am honest about my earnestness. Worse still, such earnestness might bring contempt instead of sympathy. The same thing has happened too many times for me to imagine otherwise. Love makes one feel so humble and pathetic, and a love that is humble and pathetic is not desired by anyone. Therefore I ask only to be allowed this privilege to be sad. Accuse me not for suffering for a meaningless love. Blame me not for my desperate and shameless hopes for love. Tell me not that I possess all the good things on earth and that being sad among all these blessings is a sin. Sometimes I look at the loving couples on the street, and I envy them for possessing something that I do not. The talent of loving and being loved in return.

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