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Month: April, 2006

Cheer Up

今天同事Q給我寫了一張紙條:加油啊!所有問題都可以解決的!

一時間,有點感觸。事情的始末在於一個誤會;而昨天當我發現事情的真相和嚴重性時,不知所措之下只好向同事Q求助。無論如何看上去都像無法挽救的一個狀況,她郤叫我不用擔心,而自己郤為了想出一個妥善的處理方法而絞盡腦汁甚至做惡夢(在這情況下夢見老板算是惡夢吧)。今早她自己走進老板房,順手把玻璃門掩上-我就知道她要替我擋災了。奇蹟地,我們原本以為會捱轟的,郤生還了,還絲毫無損。當然,同樣的錯誤是一定不可以再犯了。然後,同事Q就在我桌上放了這樣紙條。

這張紙條,令我想起在何東那些不斷寫紙條的日子。首先是Mock Campaign,因為要支持自己的庄友,替自庄友們解答台下的問題,和令自己腦筋清醒,連續三十多小時就不停在長桌上來回傳紙條。之後,平日得閒無事有理無理,都會在庄友隊友樓友其他樓友Pigeon Hole裡塞紙條,有時更會附上吃的玩的各種無聊玩意。Interhall前後會收到很多支持恭賀的紙條。考試時會有勁過揮春。那個時候,沒有人會吝嗇任何温暖人心的鼓勵語句。那些老土說話,我還以為只有我們仍會講。其實,應該是我去鼓勵人的,郤反過來被鼓勵了,老實說也真有點失敗。不過,能在工作的地方收到這樣的紙條,能有一個如此可靠可親的同事,真是我的幸運。是時候振作一下,顯示一下何東人的能耐了。

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嘩嘩嘩嘩~唔知近唔近呢?

倒數十二日!

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Exert yourself.

Exert yourself… If there is anything to say about today.

Once I am determined, I can do pretty well. But at other times, when I am only partially concerned, I still get things done, though not as well. However, when you are at work, only your best is expected, and failure is not an option. If you make more than one mistake, whether accident or no, you are done for. People consider neither reason nor intention nor process, only the result counts. Which is totally against the philosophy we had been used to, the idea that it is the process that matters. So now what I have to do is to make myself determined – to unlearn what I held on in hall and learn the new rules of the workplace. Not really unlearn – just to adapt to another mode of thought and behaviour. Whereas deep down, I can still stick to what I will always believe. One thing is true always – Never give up.

I believe tomorrow will be a better day.

人魚朵朵

星期天的家很鬱悶,於是逃了出去,看了《人魚朵朵》。


起初想看,是為了徐若瑄。曾經有一段時間,很渴望成為像徐若瑄那種可愛女生。後來發現,有一種可愛是生來的,任人怎麼模仿也模仿不來,也就放棄了。雖然放棄了,也不時會想,如果我是生下來便可愛有多好,可以可愛,但又不會被人說是扮可愛。結果我可愛不成,只有玩性格了,還要不知道會否被人說是扮有性格。

之後想看,是看了這套電影的介紹,發現除了是亞洲新星導的其中一齣,內容也有點有趣,跟童話故事有關,便記住了。

故事是這樣的:朵朵天生雙腳走不了,像童話中的人魚公主,於是她以為要用聲音跟巫婆交換才走得了路。結果當然手術成功,朵朵也沒有失去聲音。但自此她就得了另一個怪病-只要見到漂亮的鞋子,就不能自制的要買下來,家裡的鞋子比鞋店還要多。她在一間出版社上班,有一天牙痛,便去看牙醫。牙醫維孝(微笑-Prince Charming?)看到朵朵腳上漂亮的鞋子,覺得竟然有人穿鞋子穿得這麼好看呀,便喜歡上她。朵朵看他,雖然不是騎白馬也不會打扮,但人很好,就讓他當上了自己的王子。他們交往了,然後有一天他跟她求婚。朵朵想起兒時一個夢,那女人跟她說幸福是一隻白色的羊和一隻黑色的羊。幸福真的那麼容易得到嗎?他們結了婚,過着幸福快樂的日子。但童話到此並未完結。朵朵的戀鞋癖只有變本加厲,房間也快裝不下了。於是他建議朵朵嘗試不要買鞋了,但有一天,朵朵在櫥窗看到一雙紅鞋子,便中了紅鞋子的魔咒。雖然自制住沒有買,郤像愛麗絲般失足掉進一個坑裡。自此,朵朵再次失去了雙腳,變得抑鬱。他依然很疼朵朵,直到一天他發現自己的眼出了問題,但他沒有讓朵朵知道。後來,賣火柴的小女孩來了朵朵家,朵朵替她買了一盒火柴。劃了火柴,她發現自己原來很幸福,那兩隻羊一早也就得到了。她也知道了維孝的秘密,決定不再躲起來了。她送走了她的鞋子,再次上班,並替維孝生了一個可愛的女兒。於是,人魚朵朵得到了真正的幸福。

 

結果發現,《人魚朵朵》很像《天使愛美麗》。有一個說故事的旁白,有很多顏色,有很夢幻的境,有很奇異的角色。劉德華的旁白可能不夠台灣,又沒有《愛美麗》彷新浪潮電影的旁白的味道,有點奇怪。時間地點應該是現代的台灣,但就有一點非現實的夢幻感覺。整齣電影都光矇矇的,像童話故事般的彩虹色,間中有一些奇幻的景像。顏色就沒有《愛美麗》的鮮豔,是很童話式的粉彩色。那鞋店,那十字路口,甚至那出版社,都不太現實,混在其餘特別的現實中(如要洗厠所的人魚公主,和會縮水的窗廉布),也頗有趣。節奏稍嫌慢了一點,沒有《愛美麗》那種爽快利落的幽默。朵朵這個角色很像愛美麗-兒時有病,長大很孤單,不多話,穿的衣服也自成一格。把頭髪盤起來時,竟跟愛美麗有幾分相像。其餘的角色,像《愛美麗》中的角色,各自有各自的問題。不過,這兒的角色就相對較少和沒趣。最有趣的要算自閉插畫家大貓吧,有點像《愛美麗》中的玻璃人畫家,不擅與人溝通,但後來就跟主角成了朋友。這是一個台灣版(因為它的寓意真的很台灣)的《天使愛美麗》,總算清新可喜(沒有接吻鏡頭喔),是近年難得一見的(一級片,好久未見過了)輕鬆喜劇吧。是值得一看的。即使不喜歡故事,看看那些漂亮鞋子,也令人心花怒放呢。

那些鞋子啊,如果我不是走性格路線而是走可愛的話,也會買很多吧,哈哈。

唔,還是喜歡《天使愛美麗》。

On Inspiration.

It all began with that sudden order from my boss.

There was this meeting with Arome (that Japanese cake shop), for which my company had agreed to do rebranding. Though I was made to sit at the meeting, obviously I knew nothing about the business whatsoever. I fought hard repressing my yawns when they chatted aimlessly in a very “stream of consciousness” manner and looking through the presentations we did for Arome. When they came across the truck design, the Arome people said they wanted something more catchy. My boss immediately agreed to find “someone” to tailormake a slogan to replace it. Even then I was amused since I did not think my boss would spend that money – and I was right there. When my boss proudly presented the “university graduates” Queencie and I, I felt a sudden uneasiness welling within me. After the Arome people left, my boss asked ME to do that slogan. I should have known……

And what had I done? I pretended there was never such a thing (perhaps I thought it would be sorted out somehow), until that day Queencie gave me a deadline for the slogan. Of course I panicked. The night before the deadline I sat thinking hard about the slogan but could make up nothing. I went to bed, but I could hardly sleep without dreaming of myself making up the slogan. That was a terrible night. Of course I woke up with nothing but a mind more confused than ever. I decided if I could not think of one before arriving at office, I should need help from other colleagues. While I was standing in the shower making up this contingency plan, a phrase quietly emerged to my consciousness. Stunned, I read my mind again – I GOT IT!!! It was simply unbelieveable. One second earlier I was still panicking, and now the slogan was here ready for use! It was like removing a boulder from upon me. I did not know how others would receive it, at least it sounded complete, and I did not think I could think of any more now. When I gave that doubtingly to my small boss, she said it was OK. I asked my other colleagues, they also found it good (because it was difficult with all the restraints) and could not think of anything better. So they took it to the meeting with Arome. Today my boss summoned me to his office and said my slogan was well received (I could not help being flattered a bit, but then when I discovered what was coming, I wished I never made that slogan……).

So, this entry is about inspiration. I told my father about this curious thing, and he said he always had inspirations that came in the last moment. Wouldn’t it be risky, having no idea when the inspiration would come? Somehow, my father said, one got so acquainted with one’s tendencies that one just knew. His inspirations never failed him, and he found no need to force himself into thinking. Perhaps deep down inside me, I knew that I was going to make it. But of course, I would rather not lead a life of constant stress and perturbed sleep. If I could decide my own deadline, and let inspiration flow.  

我的夢想

我有一個夢想。其實我在不同的時候,有過不同的夢想。現在,過去的夢想,逹成了的沒有逹成的,看上去都很渺小。我想,夢想是會越變越大,越變越遠的吧。

 

我現在的夢想是出版一部書。年半之前,我人在倫敦唸碩士。坐在下午的宿舍房間,我忽然感到前所未有的閒。我想起未去倫敦之前,在香港大學的三年舍堂生活,從未試過有一刻停下來過。不管是做舍堂宿生會幹事會的事務、練習壘球、為舍際話劇採排、跟舍堂樂隊練習、為每天一場的各項舍際比賽觀戰助威、出席舍堂各諮詢問答大會……我三年的大學生活全數都貢獻了給自己所屬的舍堂。由大學一年級起,我跟十一個同伴一起承諾了成為宿生會幹事,承諾在這三年齊心合力令我們的舍堂成為港大十三間舍堂中最好的舍堂。九七年是我們舍堂最後一年榮獲舍際體育比賽總冠軍;我們承諾要把榮耀再次帶給我們的堂友。之後的三年,我們經歷了比之前十八年人生更多更深刻的事。以前的我以為只要做好自己,表現不過不失,就可以安穩的完成自己的人生。來到這兒,高年級的堂友告訴我:「很多事情單靠個人是做不到的」。三年鼓吹團結的舍堂生活間,我慢慢理解那說話的意義。跟初相識的十一人組成宿生會幹事會,起初彼此欠缺溝通信任,出了很多亂子,被高年級的堂友一言警醒:「你們是一莊人,任何時候都得互相支持,不能嫌棄彼此。」原來,只是做好自己,是不足夠的。之後我們十二人成為了能夠互相支持共患難的同伴,不論上任期間遇着甚麼困境,仍堅持我們對舍堂的承諾。十八年來都沒認真玩過任何運動的我,加入了舍堂的壘球隊,看着高年級的堂友在舍際的決賽上飲恨落敗了,心裡下了承諾,要為他們把冠軍拿回來。為了增進自己的體能和技術下了很多苦功,背地裡哭過很多遍,但仍堅持打完三年壘球。早上練波,中午上課,晚上亦要為舍際話劇採排,仍沒有給自己躲懶的藉口。連續三十多個小時不睡覺、過度運動勞動令身體勞損、各種困難出現之時,我們都靠這句話支撐下去:No matter how tough the life can be, we still can bring our dreams to reality…

 

最後,到我畢業那一年,我們仍然未能為我們的舍堂重奪榮耀,壘球隊依然飲恨舍際冠軍。我們畢業了,我們之前做的事,稱為夢想的東西,好像一下子都變得不值一提了。但是對我來說,那三年是我人生中最豐盛的三年-因為那三年我有一個很明確的生存目標,一個可以為之付出所有的夢想。我覺得,夢想,沒有分大小,只有分當事人的態度:對夢想有多執着、有多堅持。甚至,也不分夢想成真與否;最重要的,是要相信夢想,勇於嘗試並堅持到底,無論結果如何都不後悔。這些,都是舍堂教會我的。那個時候,我堅信那個我們所謂的夢想,相信No reserve, we deserve。現在,離開了夢工場的大學校園,我當年的同伴們逐一投入於社會,當時那種對夢想單純的信念漸漸消失了。但我仍然相信當年在舍堂裡學會的東西:承諾、團結、和對夢想的堅持。為三年追逐夢想的回憶記錄成書成了我現在的夢想。於是我開始了籌備、資料搜集、諮詢意見、動筆去寫……一年倫敦留學生活過去,我回到香港,沒有立刻找工作,坐在家裡再寫了半年。這半年,是最難熬的半年。身邊的人對我所做的事投以懷疑的目光;而因為時間越久,回頭就越不可能。有時,腦袋不靈光,坐了一整天也寫不出一個字,就更深切的感到自己的無所事事,很是困擾和洩氣。以前有一班同伴和自己一起努力,而現在獨身作戰,感到狐立無援,沒有收入,又寫不好,心情常常差到極點。這些時候,我會想起SOLER,想起他們對夢想的堅持,知道堅持夢想是會有回報的,便會重拾信心,咬緊牙關再寫下去。很多個夜晚,我就聽着SOLERCD寫完一篇又一篇夢想的回憶。

 

半年過去,我的初稿終於完成。我拿着那份十三萬字的心血結晶,拿去給我當年的同伴們看。他們看了,種種回憶浮現眼前,很是感動。最令他們感動的不是我拙劣的文筆,而是我竟然可以堅持完成這一件雖然有意義但就沒有人能提起勇氣去做的事。我令他們想起當年為夢想堅持付出一切的青春。來到這兒,我的夢想已逹成一半了,因為我寫的東西出乎了他們意料之外的好,很到了很多足以補足之前受過的痛苦的回應。現在,我要實行這個夢想的另外一半-我要為這部書找到有興趣投資並合適的出版發行商。今年剛好是我的舍堂的五十五週年紀念,希望可以在今年出版到這部書。如果當年我可以堅持對舍堂的承諾,可以由跑個100M也喘氣到三年後出賽壘球比賽,那我今次也一定可以堅持到最後。夢想,不會是只在校園才有的東西。世上無難事,只怕有心人。

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今天,看了《伊莎貝拉》。
其實,也有點想看《四大天王》。
其實,也想看柏原崇《黑夜》。
其實,電影節應該還有我想看的東西。
但其實,已經少了看戲的閒。

好可愛呀



好搞笑呀!佢地連着衫選擇都同宜家一樣!如果唔係都分唔出邊個打邊個!